The Park Road Pulpit
Sermons from Park Road Baptist Church
Russ and Amy Jacks Dean, Pastors
Praying with Jesus: Praying the Prayer by Heart
Psalm 103.8-12 and Matthew 6.9-15
Amy Jacks Dean, August 3, 2003
I spent the week polling folks. Every chance I got I asked the question: How many people do you need to forgive? (I hope that you will begin to bring those specific people to mind as we go through the next few moments.) I loved the reaction to this question. The answers ranged from 0 (I don’t believe them!) to 6, 7, maybe 8 people that they need to forgive. Some even said more than they could count – slightly snickering. So as we begin this time of specific reflection on this portion of the Lord’s Prayer, I ask you: How many people do you need to forgive? Only when you have put names and faces on this issue will this piece of the prayer have any real meaning. Only when you have recalled the event or series of events, the harsh words that you wish you could recall or the years of loud silence that you wish could be broken, can you really consider the full meaning of our phrase for today: Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.
“After the bombing in Oklahoma City, there was a city-wide memorial service. Billy Graham spoke at the service. He began by saying, `We are here with you to let the healing begin. We are here to show you that a nation stands beside you in your grief. We are here to forgive.’ . . . [the truth is] few present that day were there to forgive. The attorney general was talking retribution; the president was promising the death penalty. [Billy] Graham was speaking out of the peculiarity, the specificity of the Christian faith, which teaches us, on a regular basis, to pray, `Forgive us our [trespasses] as we forgive those who [trespass] against us’ until we are able to pray these words by heart.” (Lord, Teach Us, Willimon and Hauerwas, pages 85-86)
Praying the prayer by heart is different than praying the prayer by memory. Forgiveness is an issue of the heart. There is no way for one sermon to be preached concerning this phase. There is too much in it. There’s the issue of God’s forgiveness and our need for it. (Amazing Grace how sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me.) There’s the age-old question: but how many times am I to forgive? Some folks want to know if you can forgive someone that has not asked for forgiveness while some folks are just stuck in a place where they would rather maintain their grudge than give it up. There’s the issue of the nuances of translation and what that may mean for the prayer: is it debts or trespasses anyway? And what difference, if any, would that make to our understanding of the prayer? Luke records the prayer as “Forgive us our sins, for we ourselves forgive everyone indebted to us.” (Luke 11.4) Matthew records the phrase “And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.” Frankly, the way that reads is not good news for me. If God forgives as I have forgiven, then I am in trouble. But this reading/interpretation is probably not the best. According to Jeremias, this phrase would better read “as we also herewith forgive our debtors.” With these words the one who prays is reminded of the individual’s need to forgive. Jesus made this point again and again. You cannot ask God to forgive if you yourself are not prepared to forgive. (The Prayers of Jesus, Joachim Jeremias, page 103) Yet each and every week, we sit in this place considering our own transgressions, sins if you will, reminding ourselves of the assurance of God’s forgiveness and unconditional love. We do that for ourselves at least weekly, but do we live the second part of this phrase of the prayer as well as we do the first? Forgive us, we pray, but do we actually do any forgiving after we leave this place?
Yes, much can be preached about this phrase, but I would like to drive home only two points today. And neither of them has to do with God’s forgiveness. Could we agree that God is a God of unconditional love? And could we agree that surely there are times that we fall short of who God created us to be and, when we do, God forgives us? In this group, we probably can’t agree on either of these premises – yet I want to put that aside as something that at least I believe and address the portion of the prayer that I can actually do something about: the portion of the prayer that calls me to action; the portion of the prayer that requires something of me; the portion of the prayer that I must learn to pray by heart - forgiving those who trespass against me; forgiving those who sin against me; forgiving those indebted to me. However you want to word it, I want to talk about how we forgive others.
To set this up, I must state two things that I believe up front about our capacity to forgive: 1) We can forgive – we are capable of forgiving – it is in our makeup to forgive – created in the image of God, we have within us the capacity to forgive; 2) Forgiveness takes a long time – there is nothing easy about forgiveness, for we also have the capacity within us to hold a grudge, to stubbornly decide that we will not forgive – sometimes even forgetting we are capable of offering forgiveness to begin with.
Roberta Bondi, in her book A Place to Pray, says that “in all given situations, forgiveness has two necessary elements. The first is that we give up the notion of revenge, and the second is that we come to desire the well-being of [those who trespass against us]. The first is a “turn the other cheek” model, while the second is a “pray for those who persecute you” model. (pages 93-94) Both are the teachings of Jesus.
Giving up the notion of revenge may sound easy, for surely, no one in this room is mean-spirited enough to wish harm for another. When we hear the word “revenge,” we think of getting even. That word conjures up images of plotting to set the record straight by evening the score. That word takes us back to “sweet” time when an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth was the reigning thought of the day, and some may wish that we would return there. They say that revenge is sweet, but surely none of us has ever wanted revenge. Leave the Hollywood thrillers out of your mind for a moment and consider the satisfaction you have felt when someone “gets what’s coming to them.” The words “she asked for it” or “serves him right” are close cousins to “Revenge is sweet.” That little piece of us that finds humor, or at least a little smile or smirk, when someone who has wronged us is hurt themselves, holds the key that locks our way from being at the place to forgive. We must give up the notion of revenge. There is nothing sweet about it.
That step may be easier than the next. Bondi says that we after we give up revenge, we must come to desire the well-being of those who have wronged us. Now that’s a whole other level of forgiveness. It is one thing to purge our minds of harmful or hurtful thoughts. It is one thing to let go wishing the worst for someone who has trespassed against us. But it is quite another to actually wish good for someone for whom we have only wanted the worst. Bondi says “it is not hard after a while to give up the fantasy of burning down the house of someone who has unjustly put you out of work by lying about you. Really and truly giving up the hope that he or she will some day lose a job in the same way, and so suffer as you have suffered, however, is much harder. Actually getting to the point where you pray for his or her actual thriving – and mean it – this is truly hard. It is not surprising that it is hard. Forgiveness is an important element in the love of God and neighbor into which we are growing. Love as the Fathers and Mothers [of the early church] speak of it is not a single, simple action or emotion we either feel or don’t feel at any given moment. Love is a disposition we grow into, or are healed into, or are transformed into by God.” (page 94) In other words, we grow up into forgiveness as something we seek and confer for a lifetime.
Just prior to Matthew’s giving of the Lord’s Prayer, he records Jesus as saying, “You have heard that it was said, `An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.’ But I say to you, Do not resist an evildoer. But if anyone strikes you on the right cheek, turn the other also; and if anyone wants to sue you and take your coat, give your cloak as well; and if anyone forces you to go one mile, go also the second mile. Give to everyone who begs from you, and do not refuse anyone who wants to borrow from you. You have heard that it was said, `You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” (Matthew 5.38-44) We talk a lot about following in the way of Jesus, we use that phrase, but we don’t want to go a second mile and we don’t want to give our cloak as well. It is a part of the way of Jesus that has not been incorporated into the lives of Americans, for sure.
Willimon and Hauerwas say that “in commanding us to forgive, Jesus is inviting us to take charge, to turn the world around, to throw a monkey wrench in the eternal wheel of retribution and vengeance. We don’t have to silently suffer the hurt, lick our wounds, lying in wait for the day when we shall at last be able to return the blow that was dealt to us . . . We can forgive.” (page 84)
“In the riots following the first Rodney King verdict, Reginald Denny was dragged from his truck and viciously beaten by a raging gang. [We saw the video clip over and over and over again.] After his painful recovery, he met face to face with his attackers, shook hands with them, and forgave them.” (Lord Teach Us, Willimon and Hauerwas, page 78) One reporter who witnessed it said it was thought that he suffered brain damage. Perhaps. Or maybe he received the prayer of the heart. When I hear stories like this and wonder if I have it in me to do the same, I am reminded to pray the prayer by heart, not by memory: Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. If I lived the prayer it would change me – and even the world. May it be so.
O God, who has first forgiven us, help us to see in ourselves what you see in us: goodness, love, mercy, and forgiveness. You have taught us well, we know the words, (forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us), yet we do not live them. We confess that we hold grudges, that we wish ill-will, that we hope for the worst for people who have wronged us. At the very least, we ignore or reject those who have trespassed against us.
Teach us the way of Jesus – the way of love and forgiveness. Our world desperately needs to hear this word today, O God. So help us to live into your forgiveness that we might find within ourselves something of who you are and bring peace into this world today.